It’s the day after Valentine’s Day.
And maybe you noticed something that’s hard to say out loud.
Things weren’t the same.
Maybe you felt dry or it hurt. Maybe arousal was difficult and you couldn’t reach orgasm. Maybe your partner didn’t respond the way they used to. Or maybe you just felt disconnected from your body — like your desire went missing.
If any of that sounds familiar, you are not alone.
Whether you’re in a long-term marriage, a single mom wanting to date again, newly divorced or swinging single, there are real options to support you- and they go far beyond being told to “use lubricant” or “just relax.”
At Potentia MedSpa, we believe sexual wellness is a real part of whole-body wellness. And we take it seriously, without shame, without awkwardness, and without brushing you off. Many of the solutions we offer are different, innovative and very comprehensive (we like to think outside the box!)
The Elephant in the Room: Sexual Wellness Is Not Just About “Mood”
When intimacy changes, most people assume it’s psychological.
But in real life, it’s usually a blend of:
1. How you feel about yourself
2. Your body’s hormonal supply to access desire and arousal
3. How well your tissues hydrate, lubricate, and respond
4. Your nervous system (stress, cortisol, safety, connection)
This is why uncovering the root cause is critical — especially after 40.
And it’s also why we focus on supporting you with ideas for quick fixes as well as long-term solutions.
The Four Biggest “Valentine’s Day Killers” (and How We Fix Them)
1. Weight and Body Confidence
Let’s say this clearly: body confidence is not vanity.
If you don’t feel good in your body, it affects how you show up in intimacy.
You stop wanting to be seen.
You avoid positions.
You rush the moment.
You disconnect.
And that changes everything.
Quick Fix Options
· GLP-1 support (Ozempic-style options, medically supervised)
· HCG-style protocols, when appropriate
· Keto Diet (for the right body type and metabolism)
· Body contouring to reduce lower abdominal and pelvic fat
Long-Term Fix
· Testing and correcting abnormal weight hormones: insulin, cortisol, leptin
· Training your metabolism to become flexible again
· The right exercise combination (not all cardio) with our fitness coach
· Body contouring with muscle re-education to tighten the lower tummy and reduce the “FUPA”
Why This Matters?
Because when you love how your body looks and feels, it changes your presence.
Your attitude shifts.
You want to be seen and touched.
You stop hiding.
That confidence becomes part of your intimacy.
2. Libido and Desire
Libido is not just a personality trait.
It’s biology. And one of the biggest myths women are told is that desire should stay the same forever — even while hormones are changing, stress is rising, sleep is declining, and tissue health is shifting.
The way you got aroused in your 20s may not be the way your body responds in your 40s and 50s.
And that is not failure. It’s physiology.
Quick Fix Options
· Learning what turns you on now (and asking for it)
· CBD and arousal oils
· Our customized herbal libido lifting protocols
· Local vaginal hormones
· Rehydration support for vaginal tissue
Long-Term Fix
· Optimizing systemic cortisol (because high cortisol blocks desire)
· Systemic hormone replacement, including testosterone support when appropriate
· Our signature technique: V-Stim
o Supports vaginal health using aPRF (your body’s own stem cells)
o V- Shower our signature vaginal stimulation and tightening using plasma
Why This Matters?
Because libido is “ground zero.”
The right hormones, the right nervous system support, and the right stimulation strategy can completely change your experience — not just physically, but emotionally.
3. Dryness and Pain
If you were dry, uncomfortable, or had pain — you’re not being dramatic.
Vaginal dryness is one of the most common post-40 changes, and it affects far more than comfort.
It affects confidence.
It affects arousal and orgasm.
It affects your partner’s experience.
It affects whether you want intimacy at all.
And no — more lube is not the long-term solution.
Quick Fix Options
· Jojoba oil lubricant (research shows it supports the vagina better than coconut oil)
· Therapeutic suppositories (hormonal and non-hormonal)
· Supporting vaginal pH
· Improving lubrication with hormonal or non-hormonal therapies
Long-Term Fix
· Correcting vaginal flora shifts that change pH (YES YOU CAN TEST YOUR VAGINAL FLORA!)
· Rehydrating and training the glands to produce more moisture
· Diet changes that reduce inflammation and support tissue repair
· Vaginal and systemic hormone replacement (including testosterone support)
· Our signature V-Stim approach
o aPRF support for tissue regeneration using your body’s own supply of stem cells
o V-Shower using Plasma energy to renew and tighten your vagina
Why This Matters?
Because both you and your partner know when you’re dry. It changes the entire experience — physically and emotionally.
4. Intimacy, Connection, and Nervous System Safety
This is the part no one wants to admit: You can have perfect hormones and still not want intimacy if you feel stressed, depleted, disconnected, or emotionally shut down.
Arousal is not just physical. It’s nervous system-based.
Quick Fix Options
· Cuddling and non-goal touch
· Talk therapy or get intimacy coaching
· Vaginal probiotics when appropriate
· Tantric yoga
· Remembering why you fell in love
Long-Term Fix
· Raising oxytocin with peptide support (the “love hormone”)
· Correcting elevated cortisol so sex hormones can rise again
· Vaginal and systemic hormone replacement, including testosterone support
· Our V-Shower approach for increasing long-term sensitivity of the clitoris and V-Stim for G-spot support using aPRF ( your body’s own supply of stem cells)
Why This Matters?
Because intimacy is not just about function. It’s about connection. And connection requires safety — physically, emotionally, hormonally, and neurologically.
A Note for Anyone Who’s Been Told They Have HSDD
Even if you’ve been told you have “low desire,” or you’ve been diagnosed with HSDD (Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder), it can feel like something is wrong with you.
Listen, you’ve got real options that don’t require taking a prescription drug — and they go far beyond being told to “use lubricant” or “just relax.”
Low desire is usually a predictable combination of:
· hormone decline
· chronic stress and cortisol dysregulation
· vaginal dryness or pain
· inflammation
· poor sleep
· body dissatisfaction
· relationship disconnect
· lack of the right stimulation for your current stage of life
And that’s why expecting one treatment or depending on just the quick fixes won’t do the job long-term.
We can help you with this....
The Most Important Truth: Desire Takes Time to Restore
One of the biggest mistakes people make is expecting a one-week fix. Sexual wellness is like physical fitness. You can feel better quickly — but the deeper transformation happens when you stay consistent.
That’s why we build long-term plans. And that’s why we’re having this conversation now.
Let’s plan to have a completely different experience by next Valentine’s Day.
If you have more questions about how to support your libido, we’d love to hear from you. Schedule a consultation with our team of experts at Potentia MedSpa in Lafayette, California, or call us at 510 230 2282. We are the only Functional Aesthetics Medspa in the San Francisco Bay Area, offering a combination of medical expertise, innovative technology in sexual wellness, and holistic support for midlife hormone changes.
XO
Dr. Vera
*And because I’m all about sisterhood, share this with a friend who may need support.
